Thank U

What is resonating within my heart and coming out of my speakers right now is Thank U by Alanis Morissette. Alanis is one of my favorite artists. Her lyrics are so real to me. When I listen to her music, I can feel how she feels and I really identify with her songs. One of my favorites of hers is Thank U, a song about gratitude, wherein it almost seems that she is thanking God and all of the beautiful places, painful experiences, and other things that have taught her deep lessons, helped her grow, and brought her to new realizations about herself and life. 

To me, it appears that these experiences are referred to in the song lyrics within the lines that begin with "How about..." For example, "How about how good it feels to finally forgive you." I think that this is referring to the fact that she learned just how important forgiveness is and she has finally achieved the ability to find it for someone when it was obviously difficult for her.

This song reminds me of the pivotal experiences I have had that led me to really feel the deeper meaning underneath everything and within my life. It also helps me to surrender to whatever I happen to be feeling in my life during the moment I am listening to it, as well as let go of whatever may holding me back. I really need music like this; Who doesn't? 

My artwork

Untitled (Circa 1995)

Sometimes people just want to be seen

Whenever I want to cry late at night, all I have to do is watch some Britain's Got Talent audition clips. There are several that bring tears to my eyes and make me think that sometimes people just need to be seen for the beautiful beings that they are. They come on this show, scared and insecure, and then the love that is within them emerges in their art, and finally they are truly recognized. It's so beautiful. 

In this particular clip, Paul Potts goes after his dream. I can identify with him when he says that he wants to do what he feels he "was always meant to do." Sometimes there is just something in your life that makes your heart sing and you know that it was meant for you because it just feels so deeply right. I encourage everyone to follow their heart's desire because it is what you are meant to do. Life is for experiencing joy, and not for just getting by within the boundaries that our society tries to place on us.

Elias's dream

What's coming out of my heart and my speakers right now is Elias by the band Dispatch. It's an amazing song about a man named Elias and his family who live in Zimbabwe, where people are rapidly contracting and dying of HIV/AIDS. As quoted from AVERT's website (AVERT is an international HIV and AIDS charity), "As many as 1 in 4 children in Zimbabwe are orphaned as a result of parents dying from AIDS."

Elias's dream is that his sons would be able to get an education in order to have a better life. The lyrics are incredibly moving. As a result of knowing Elias and his story, Dispatch inspired the creation of the Elias Fund which helps young people in Zimbabwe to get an education. It's amazing what we have the power to do, if we try. Thank you for the inspiration, Dispatch.

Almost two is better than none

I started off the day strong with a glass of purified water and apple cider vinegar. I knew I had to have my wheatgrass juice on an empty stomach, so about an hour and a half later, I headed out and got a shot of it. I returned home and sure enough, about a half hour later, I started to feel nauseous. I figured it would be just like yesterday - that it would soon pass and I would be okay. I took a little walk outside and couldn't handle it. When I got back home, I threw up. It was seriously awful. My head was pounding harder than it ever has before and I wasn't sure if my body was rejecting the wheatgrass, if I was allergic to it, or if it had done its job of detoxifying me so much that I needed to get all the toxins out. Either way, I was on the couch for another hour trying to recover.

As the afternoon went on, I began to feel a little better, but not much. I drank a watered down cup of apple and pear juice and tried to relax. Then, I started to feel worse. In the early evening, I tried to drink some pressed kale, beet, and cucumber juice, but just couldn't get it down. I couldn't even bring myself to drink water and I was feeling more and more ill. I realized that perhaps with the wheatgrass incident, two days of a juice cleanse was going have to be it this time around. I felt nervous to end the juice cleanse because I didn't want to stop the valuable cleansing process, and I also wanted to keep my commitment, but realized that my best is good enough for now. Something seemed wrong with the fact that I couldn't even get down the juice, that I was throwing up, and that I felt that ill. I know that many sources say that these side effects are part of what occurs during the healing crisis of a cleanse, but I didn't want to hurt myself or put myself through something so violent, even if it was healing. I figured I could work on healing myself at a slower pace. Besides, almost two days is better than none!

However, if you are thinking of doing a 3-day juice cleanse, here are some things to keep in mind:

1. You may want to consider if it will be more economical for you to either buy a juicer and your own fresh organic produce or to purchase fresh, on-the-spot pressed juices at your local organic juice bar for the duration of the cleanse. Organic groceries are expensive (I spent about $55!) and a juicer will cost you around $50 and up, so be sure that you will make good use of your juicer if you decide to purchase one. Otherwise, it may be wise to just purchase your juices as you go from a local establishment (just make sure they do not add any sugar to your juice and that they use only organic produce).

2. Spend a few days before and after your juice cleanse on a non-dairy, non-toxic, all-natural, organic diet. This includes brown rice, vegetables, fruit, beans, nuts, etc., and does not include caffeine, nicotine, pasta, bread, meat, eggs, dairy, etc. This will help your body start to detox on its own, and begin to clean itself out before you get even more serious with the juice cleanse. It will also make the juice cleanse less of a shock on your body. (I really wish I had done this!)

3. Don't make the same mistake I did by trying to do everything at once and to the extreme. If you are new to juice cleansing, it might be in your best interest to not do wheatgrass shots, or anything else that has a serious and fast detoxing effect on the body. It could be too much for your body to handle and you could become overwhelmed, physically and mentally. I think that if I hadn't tried to do those wheatgrass shots, then I would have probably gotten through another day.

Overall, juice cleansing is pretty cool, but I think I need to take a more gentle approach with myself next time. In fact, while I was researching information on the juice cleanse, I came across several sources of information for general eating guidelines that would help cleanse the body. These diets basically consist of a light, vegan, organic diet. Perhaps I will try to do that sometime soon, as it is, after all, the ideal lifestyle I'd like to lead. For now though, I am still definitely sticking with my goal of eating organic produce whenever possible, never ingesting artificial sweeteners, and reducing my intake of dairy. Here's to our health!

Day one was not so fun

Day one, the first day of my three-day juice cleanse, was pretty hard. I woke up late (at 9:30am) and lounged around the house until I started to feel a little hungry, which was around noon. At that point, I headed out to pick up some supplies for my juice cleanse. I had already purchased a juicer on Saturday, so I walked to the organic grocery store to buy a bunch of organic vegetables and fruit. I also purchased some spirulina powder and a ton of purified water. Before leaving the store, I took a shot of wheatgrass juice - a total superfood - to kick off my cleanse. Thankfully, my closest friend was with me and helped me carry all of the supplies home.

When we arrived, I started to drink a glass of purified water with lemon and some Bragg Organic Apple Cider Vinegar (which helps clean the body along with a bunch of other benefits!) I was still feeling alright, but about halfway through the glass, I started to feel a wave of nausea come over me. It seemed that at this point the detox had begun! Silly me (or awesome me) starting it off with that shot of wheatgrass which caused me to really feel the detox. Wheatgrass is super powerful at helping to clean the body. It causes a rapid amount of detoxification in the body and so side effects are common, but don't be fooled - the negative side effects actually mean that it is working! (Just make sure you take it on an empty stomach because supposedly it interacts with food poorly and that can also cause nausea.)

We put together my new juicer and I juiced an apple and a cucumber, but unfortunately couldn't even drink it because I needed to go lay down. My friend was kind enough to clean up everything for me while I rested on the couch. After an hour, the nausea passed and I was left with a low grade headache. I went out for a long walk and drank the rest of the juice and a lot of water and felt much better. My upper arms developed a bit of an itchy red bumpy rash around 4pm - probably from my skin releasing toxins, as that never happens to me!

By 6pm, I was really craving food and I felt a bit weak. I slowly drank two cups of strained vegan vegetable broth that had been boiled with garlic and parsley. I drank another watered down pressed juice made of kale, parsley, carrot, bean sprouts, and a dash of spirulina powder. By 7:30pm, my head was aching, and I felt weak. I seriously wanted food and was thinking of ice cream and cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers! I hadn't eaten one of those in three years! I ended the evening with a cup of Traditional Medicinals Organic Smooth Move tea (so that I could release toxins in the morning through a bowel movement even though I have not been eating food, which is what normally moves things along in our colon) and went to sleep.

I had originally anticipated that I would have trouble falling asleep, however, I passed out immediately. I felt so weak and exhausted that my body seemed to just want to rest. In the middle of the night, I awoke twice with an aching belly, but I drank some water which helped, and fell back asleep. I have to say that I was dreading the next two days, but I had dedicated myself to better health! Stay tuned for details on day two!

3-day juice cleanse

Lately, every time I eat dairy, my allergies seem to kick up. I have also been feeling tired and have been having very unhealthy cravings (like wanting to eat a block of cheddar cheese - yikes!) I decided that I really need a clean slate. After my 29 years on this planet living the American lifestyle, it's time to clean up my body and get out any toxins and junk that it might have built up over that time. Although I have never been one to eat in an extremely poor manner, I still have too many vices: The decaf coffee that upsets my stomach every time I drink it. The occasional sweet-n-low I use to avoid calories. The indulgence in far too much cheese. The overeating every single time I have Indian food. The fact that I rarely buy anything but lettuce organically and therefore probably take in a large amount of chemicals... You get the picture.

I started getting the inspiration and longing to take better care of myself a few years ago and subsequently decided to become a pescetarian. (Meat just wasn't for me anymore, but that's a story for another blog entry!) Recently, within the last few months, I have, for the most part, moved on to a mostly ovo-lacto vegetarian lifestyle. However, now I feel like the time has come to change my diet even more.

No more artificial junk! What possibly made me ignore the fact that something artificial (like a chemical sweetener) probably isn't that great for me? Why would I put something like that into my body? In addition, the dairy is going to be cut way back. There is a large amount of evidence to suggest that dairy is not processed well by the human body and has negative effects on one's health. I will also try to purchase more organic vegetables and fruit even though they are more expensive. What could be worth investing in more than my health? Finally, I am going to kick off my new lifestyle changes with a 3-day juice cleanse that begins today. It's time to give my body some time to heal and recharge. Stay tuned for my experience. (I'm a newbie at this, so it could get ugly!)

My artwork

Night (Circa 1999)

Chunk ♥

Who doesn't love Chunk? First of all, if you've never seen The Goonies, you absolutely must crawl out from under your rock and rent it immediately. If you have seen it, then I'm sure you will agree with me that Chunk is one of the most lovable characters in cinema history (along with Data). 

Yesterday, I happened to see a video about where Jeff Cohen (AKA: Chunk) is now and what he is doing. In the video, he talked about how his look as a child actor really allowed him to have a niche in the acting world, and that when puberty struck, it was really the downfall of his acting career. He decided he needed to pursue another path and he had to come to terms with that. I loved hearing his experience of acceptance, enjoying the past, and moving forward. Click here to watch the video and again, if you haven't watched The Goonies, get on it!

Late at night

Sometimes, late at night, if I'm feeling a little lonely (or sometimes, even if I'm not), I'll just find myself listening to old sappy love songs. Peter Cetera. Journey. Heart. Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warren. Starship. Paul Young. Air Supply. The Pretenders. Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville. REO Speedwagon. Meatloaf. Glenn Medeiros. Debbie Gibson. Peabo Bryson. Chicago... Chicago had so many hits! And Lionel Richie. Gosh, I love Lionel Richie...

Clearly, tonight I am on an 80s kick. I can't help it! Once I get wrapped up in the music, I'm as good as gone until I drag myself into bed to go to sleep. The last number I listened to was one of my favorites of all time. How can you not get teary-eyed when listening to Against All Odds by Phil Collins? Maybe it's just me, but I certainly do, and pretty much without fail. I'm such a romantic.

If this song makes you emotional, like me, and if you are annoyed that I've sucked you into the vortex of feeling, feel free to listen to a modern cover of it by The Postal Service which is sure to shift your mood. Please keep in mind that if you decide to listen to it, you MUST listen to it beyond the 1 minute and 22 second mark, or else you will just think it stinks and holds no merit whatsoever. Although it doesn't compare to the original, it is still quite an interesting take.